The race was a two-part spectacle on the concrete canyons of Long Beach. First came the 12-lap Sprint, where street-circuit mayhem started early and left a trail of bruised egos. Then the 38-lap Feature ramped up the attrition, with leaders coming and going faster than Gareth McAlister’s dignity. By the end, it was a festival of cracked wings, black flags, and magical towing services. Welcome to Long Beach, ladies and gentlemen—where walls are friends, apparently.

Off the line in the Sprint, some of you managed brilliance, while others pulled off comedic impressions of shopping trolleys veering into curbs. Finley Fitzsimmons soared from P3 to P1 on Lap 1, mugging a hapless Matthew Davine, who dropped five positions before even blinking. Meanwhile, Gareth McAlister and Elliot Rolls must have chosen “instantly regret this” on the selection screen—Gareth plummeted eight spots and Elliot endured pitting, a black flag, contact, and towing all on the opening lap. Well done on that top-tier fiasco.

From there, the Sprint’s strategy basically boiled down to “don’t obliterate your vehicle on a wall.” Fitzsimmons kept clean air and minimal drama. Matt Spurrell tried to keep up, trailing by around 2.353 seconds at the checkered, which in racing terms might as well be the length of California. Jaden Calloway snagged third and even set his fastest lap on Lap 12 at a mammoth 647.888 seconds (yes, you read that right—bring a pillow next time, mate).

The real fun was the battles behind the podium, where Delmas Leo2 and Robert Nobles decided to conduct a demolition derby early on. We even saw Delmas “lose control” multiple times, presumably because the brake pedal disappeared. Antonio Bianchi quietly climbed from P13 to P6 in the Sprint—perhaps still daydreaming about switching to IndyCar, because apparently these machines are just too exotic for him.

In the Sprint’s midfield, Fabian Sanchez (P4) and Matthew Davine (P5) minimized stupidity, staying out of the major collisions. Shajee Zuhair and Elliot Cawte bickered for minor positions, each collecting contact incidents like your granny collects postcards. Apart from those comedic blunders, it was Fitzsimmons who stood out by simply not driving into pillars of concrete at Mach speed.

“Are you sure this track is wide enough?” was presumably muttered on social media by about half the grid. “Why didn’t you tell me he was that close?!” might have been Shajee’s question after turning someone’s sidepod into scrap metal. The usual radio drama, basically.

That Sprint result had significant implications for the overall championship. Calloway’s third place in the short dash helped him maintain his points advantage, leaving everyone else fending for second. On we went to the Feature, where a longer race meant more glorious opportunities for self-destruction.

The Feature’s start was straight out of a clown school demonstration—Antonio Bianchi led initially, but by Lap 6, Fitzsimmons took over. Not to be outdone, Jaden Calloway finally snatched the lead on Lap 27, while Fitzsimmons apparently decided to pummel his own race on Lap 34 by landing a black flag, contact, lost control, and a tow. Bravo. That meltdown gave Calloway a free pass to victory, finishing 24.463 seconds clear of Matthew Davine, who somewhat redeemed his earlier Sprint chaos by securing second. Fabian Sanchez claimed third, leaving Elliot Rolls in fourth—shockingly upright this time, apart from a “lost control” moment on Lap 22.

With Calloway victorious yet again, the championship picture is basically him smirking from the top. Davine slides deeper into contention, while Fitzsimmons is probably still fuming over the Feature meltdown. Meanwhile, Bianchi’s propaganda for IndyCar might gain traction if the rest of you keep stuffing your cars into the barriers and fancy an oval-shaped break.

Long Beach tested patience and skill, and most of you failed at least one of those. We leave this street circuit battered, amused, and ready for more. Wherever the next race happens, may your black flags be few, your pit stops be swift, and your collisions be optional. Until then, do try to figure out how to keep your vehicles pointed in the right direction. Cheerio!